She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
