mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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