And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
