I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
