Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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