Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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