I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize