We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize