I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize