he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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