Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
