Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What a dumb baby whore.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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