i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize