I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's always time for handjobs
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
