I'd wear matching sweaters with you
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize