this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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