Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
