her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They took my balls.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
