Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
