I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize