I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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