I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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