we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
