Don't you send me to vm
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
