i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
