awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
