he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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