I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize