Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.

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(661): View more from California

Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

(831): View more from California

Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

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(905): View more from Toronto

she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.

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(714): View more from California

we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.

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(406): View more from Montana

She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.

(409): View more from Texas

That was definitely the right answer.

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(352): View more from Florida

we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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(956): View more from Texas

I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.

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(564): View more from Washington

Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.

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