i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
