just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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