..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
