im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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