Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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