We need to rekindle our bromance
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
