Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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