lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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