I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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