It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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