woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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