I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
