my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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