Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm both gender and math confused
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