i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize