consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My dick has a subreddit
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
