WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
