i jhust puked up my retainher.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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