We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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