hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
