Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
