they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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