I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
