Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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