idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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