dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
