her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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