highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize