I want to walk on stilts...naked
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
