dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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